The Path to Financial Security and Happiness: A Therapist’s Perspective
By Kimberly Parker, MS, Doctoral Candidate, LPC-S, LCDC, EMDR-Trained
As a mental health therapist, I don’t often discuss financial literacy with my clients, but financial security and happiness are subjects that frequently emerge in our sessions. Typically, these topics arise when clients feel stressed about making ends meet, but they also surface when individuals embark on journeys to become their highest selves—including becoming high earners. The connection between financial security and happiness is undeniable, and I’ve identified three essential themes that should be considered when building this foundation: vision, boundaries, and people.
Creating a Vision for Financial Security and Happiness
I have said it once and I will say it again: it is crucial to “write the vision and make it plain.” If achieving financial security and happiness means becoming a 6, 7, or 8-figure earner, write down this vision and seek guidance from both earthly and spiritual figures to help bring it to fruition.
This step is vital because how can you reach your destination if you don’t know what you’re looking for? While crafting your financial security and happiness vision, be mindful of the language and mindset blocks that emerge. Are you speaking life into your financial goals? Or are you allowing unhelpful thoughts to overpower your dreams?
If negative thinking dominates your financial mindset, consider working with a mental health counselor to eliminate this “stinking thinking.” One effective technique is the ABC method:
- A stands for “activating event” (e.g., not having enough money to pay a bill)
- B represents your belief about what happened (e.g., “I will never be good at managing money”)
- C is your emotional response (e.g., sadness and guilt)
After identifying these components, ask yourself: “Is this thought helpful or reasonable?” Then follow up with: “What is something more compassionate and believable I can say to myself?”
This process allows you to create healthier thought patterns. When you shift from “I will never be a good manager of money” to “Sometimes I make mistakes with money, but I manage to pay most of my bills on time,” you’ll feel better about yourself. Imagine the possibilities for financial security and happiness when you maintain a positive financial mindset.
Setting Financial Boundaries for Security and Happiness
Once you’ve established your vision and begun addressing unhelpful financial thoughts, strengthen your “boundary game.” Boundaries are limits or principles you set in relationships—including your relationship with money.
Effective financial boundaries apply to yourself and others across various settings: work, home, and elsewhere. They represent how you respect and protect your financial well-being. Strong boundaries can also enrich your relationships by reducing feelings of resentment and anger that often arise from financial stress.
Some personal financial boundaries might include:
- “I will not overspend when socializing with friends”
- “I will not tap into my savings account for non-emergency purposes”
- “I will save $500 monthly to build my financial security and happiness“
Boundaries with others might involve telling your family that you cannot be interrupted while working so you can complete tasks and earn income. Another important boundary could be refusing to lend money you can’t afford to lose or requesting repayment from someone who owes you.
For successful boundary-setting on your path to financial security and happiness, you need three main ingredients:
- Self-worth (feeling deserving enough to establish the boundary)
- Communication skills (effectively stating and reiterating your boundary)
- Emotional regulation skills (managing your feelings while communicating boundaries)
Remember that people may resist your financial boundaries, so be prepared to use the “broken record” technique—restating your boundaries as many times as necessary. Though setting financial boundaries can be challenging, they become rewarding when respected. The right people will honor your boundaries, while those who don’t may need to be repositioned in your life.
Surrounding Yourself with the Right People for Financial Security and Happiness
Finally (though this list isn’t exhaustive), surrounding yourself with the right people is essential when pursuing financial security and happiness. Your financial success network should include:
- Someone who has achieved your financial goals (showing you what’s possible)
- Someone with financial skills you lack (perhaps a CPA or financial strategist)
- The right team (if you’re a business owner or manager)
- Natural support systems (unpaid relationships that encourage your financial growth)
Be vigilant about “dream killers” and people who claim your financial aspirations are too ambitious—these individuals aren’t your allies on the journey to financial security and happiness. Never underestimate the power of having supportive, like-minded people in your financial life.
As Rachel Rodgers wisely states in her book “We Should All Be Millionaires,” you can increase your income by building a strong, like-minded financial squad. I’ve found this to be true through my own participation in her group—an experience that has transformed my understanding of the relationship between financial security and happiness.
If you haven’t read Rodgers’ book yet, I strongly encourage you to study it page by page. Allow yourself to improve your mood, mindset, and financial literacy—all crucial components of true financial security and happiness!
Kimberly Parker (she/her) is the CEO of Revive to Thrive Wellness Center, a Texas-based group practice. As a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC), Licensed Chemical Dependency Counselor (LCDC), and Transformative Coach, she specializes in trauma, anxiety, depression, addiction, life transitions, and self-esteem improvement.
